When my sister April (you know her as the one and only AJ of AJ's peaceful spot) asked me to contribute to her Peaceful Spot Project I said "sure, would love to, grand" and I thought I'd be able to type something out in no time but when I sat down to write I realized not only did I not have a peaceful spot, I had no peace, EVER! Or did I? Maybe there are things I do that unwittingly bring me, not 'peace', really, as much as a piece of calm.
Now, I never said they were deep. I have two young boys with lots of energy that require all my attention for most of the day. When you are a stay-at-home mom you must be constantly aware, awake, attentive, ever-mindful, clear. You have to be lest one of your children run into the street, pour orange juice into your cactus, hide a dried starfish in their underwear, you know, those kinds of things. So for me, zoning out is entirely peaceful and something I need and welcome very much after the boys go down for the night. I don't want to think or be spoken to. Enter US weekly. Give me pretty people in pretty dresses to look at. Also, Bones. I love the TV show Bones. (My husband keeps wondering when they are finally going to run out of episodes for me to watch). But it is fun fodder for me, (I am quite the detective), and plus, I have a girl-crush on Emily Deschanel. Mindless TV for me is simply not worrying about anything else in the world but catching the murderer who killed that young promising attorney with a stapler, and then left his body in toxins that soon will exude fumes, threatening everyone in the lab!
Something I've started to do recently when I wake up is stretch. At first I didn't think of this as peaceful or calming because it hurt too much! I used to be able to put my leg behind my head, now when I drop something I not only bend both knees to pick it up but usually let out some sort of 'uhhhhghrhgh' or 'owwwndhshalshd' noise on the way back up. However, in my attempt to loosen myself up and to keep my mind off the pain of touching my chin to my chest (seriously, does anyone else feel that shot of a stretch all the way down their neck?!) I talk to my body. In my head I have a very lovely voice of the yoga instructor and I say 'now slowly and gently roll your head to the left and feel the release of tightness on the other side of your body, feel your hair falling across your back as you roll your head to the right and release your other side'. Stuff like that. And it really helps me to feel my entire body, respect it's efforts, be proud of it's ability to feel and want to feel better. It gets easier everyday. And I feel looser within myself and I can't help but think this keeps me more easygoing during the day.
Finally, the most peaceful or calming thing I do is pray. We pray before meals and whatnot, but those are not the kind of prayers I mean. My favorite time of day is right before I go to bed, when my babies are warm and safe and sleeping and my husband is beside me snoring (more like a bear growling who is also using a jackhammer while starting a motorcycle that has a microphone attached to the engine....you've never heard anything like it) nonetheless, I know we are all home and safely together. Sometimes though when I lay down, I worry, my mind starts chasing itself all over the place. I worry about my boys and money and death and family and my boys and my jeans not wanting to button lately and whether or not Bones and Booth will ever admit they love each other and my boys and if my husband still thinks I'm sexy even tho my jeans won't button and Africa and Japan and finally, I stop myself and I just ask God to calm me. I say over and over, God bring me calm, God bring me calm, God bring me calm. And then I ask for the faith to trust that all will be OK. And then I talk to him about why I'm so upset, about things I don't understand, about anything really, like he's my friend and I usually fall asleep mid-conversation with him (and probably around the same time as my tylenol PM has kicked in). I don't know how people feel about God, but it doesn't have to be God. It can be anyone or anything you want it to be. Calm can be brought to you by your grandma who past away a long time ago or by God or by that big tree in your backyard. (We have such trees and I believe they are trained in calming techniques such as: making their leaves sound like you are at the ocean, blowing such organic smells into your nostrils and revitalizing air into your lungs that make you truly believe your cactus will survive....anyway, never underestimate nature. God is fine with being nature).
And so, while I don't have a true peaceful spot (yet) I do have glimpses of peace and moments of calm that get me through one day and into the next. What my sister has helped me learn most through this exercise (it must be said that my sister is usually helping me learn something,..... awwwwww) is that I thought my boys prevented me from having a peaceful spot, but really my boys are my most peaceful spot(s). Every chaotic little, tiny fingers and toes of them.
Now, I never said they were deep. I have two young boys with lots of energy that require all my attention for most of the day. When you are a stay-at-home mom you must be constantly aware, awake, attentive, ever-mindful, clear. You have to be lest one of your children run into the street, pour orange juice into your cactus, hide a dried starfish in their underwear, you know, those kinds of things. So for me, zoning out is entirely peaceful and something I need and welcome very much after the boys go down for the night. I don't want to think or be spoken to. Enter US weekly. Give me pretty people in pretty dresses to look at. Also, Bones. I love the TV show Bones. (My husband keeps wondering when they are finally going to run out of episodes for me to watch). But it is fun fodder for me, (I am quite the detective), and plus, I have a girl-crush on Emily Deschanel. Mindless TV for me is simply not worrying about anything else in the world but catching the murderer who killed that young promising attorney with a stapler, and then left his body in toxins that soon will exude fumes, threatening everyone in the lab!
Something I've started to do recently when I wake up is stretch. At first I didn't think of this as peaceful or calming because it hurt too much! I used to be able to put my leg behind my head, now when I drop something I not only bend both knees to pick it up but usually let out some sort of 'uhhhhghrhgh' or 'owwwndhshalshd' noise on the way back up. However, in my attempt to loosen myself up and to keep my mind off the pain of touching my chin to my chest (seriously, does anyone else feel that shot of a stretch all the way down their neck?!) I talk to my body. In my head I have a very lovely voice of the yoga instructor and I say 'now slowly and gently roll your head to the left and feel the release of tightness on the other side of your body, feel your hair falling across your back as you roll your head to the right and release your other side'. Stuff like that. And it really helps me to feel my entire body, respect it's efforts, be proud of it's ability to feel and want to feel better. It gets easier everyday. And I feel looser within myself and I can't help but think this keeps me more easygoing during the day.
Finally, the most peaceful or calming thing I do is pray. We pray before meals and whatnot, but those are not the kind of prayers I mean. My favorite time of day is right before I go to bed, when my babies are warm and safe and sleeping and my husband is beside me snoring (more like a bear growling who is also using a jackhammer while starting a motorcycle that has a microphone attached to the engine....you've never heard anything like it) nonetheless, I know we are all home and safely together. Sometimes though when I lay down, I worry, my mind starts chasing itself all over the place. I worry about my boys and money and death and family and my boys and my jeans not wanting to button lately and whether or not Bones and Booth will ever admit they love each other and my boys and if my husband still thinks I'm sexy even tho my jeans won't button and Africa and Japan and finally, I stop myself and I just ask God to calm me. I say over and over, God bring me calm, God bring me calm, God bring me calm. And then I ask for the faith to trust that all will be OK. And then I talk to him about why I'm so upset, about things I don't understand, about anything really, like he's my friend and I usually fall asleep mid-conversation with him (and probably around the same time as my tylenol PM has kicked in). I don't know how people feel about God, but it doesn't have to be God. It can be anyone or anything you want it to be. Calm can be brought to you by your grandma who past away a long time ago or by God or by that big tree in your backyard. (We have such trees and I believe they are trained in calming techniques such as: making their leaves sound like you are at the ocean, blowing such organic smells into your nostrils and revitalizing air into your lungs that make you truly believe your cactus will survive....anyway, never underestimate nature. God is fine with being nature).
And so, while I don't have a true peaceful spot (yet) I do have glimpses of peace and moments of calm that get me through one day and into the next. What my sister has helped me learn most through this exercise (it must be said that my sister is usually helping me learn something,..... awwwwww) is that I thought my boys prevented me from having a peaceful spot, but really my boys are my most peaceful spot(s). Every chaotic little, tiny fingers and toes of them.
Worrying when you go to bed must be a family trait. But I have realized that it does absolutely no good. Still, I do it, I just try hard not to. I think bedtime prayer was invented for just that reason: to allow you to fall asleep in God's hands, so to speak. Thanks for the thoughts! - Dad
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